it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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