ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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