the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize