i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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