actually, I'm a sock model
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
