wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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