Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
