do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize