So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
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I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
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Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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