I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
