Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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