after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize