Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
