is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
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She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
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I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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