I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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