It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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