Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
