is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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