i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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