Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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