I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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