Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
