we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
