omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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