I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
