dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
