Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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