My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
