Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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