So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
