you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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