the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
