OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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