so let's talk penis.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
