I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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