im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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