first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize