Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(563): View more from Iowa

i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.

(1-250): View more from British Columbia

I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.

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(585): View more from New York

broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.

(716): View more from New York

you're writing country songs now?

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(312): View more from Illinois

sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .

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(816): View more from Missouri

he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life

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(713): View more from Texas

I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome

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(443): View more from Maryland

Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.

(301): View more from Maryland

Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.

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