I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.