Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it

(917): View more from New York City

the suitcase or the dildo?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...

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(713): View more from Texas

There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(603): View more from New Hampshire

He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .

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(407): View more from Florida

Beer acquired. Food is cooking

(1-407): View more from Florida

Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.

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