i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
