I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
