Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize