I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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