Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
