it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
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I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
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Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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