he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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