fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
