Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
