Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
if only i could text you this smell
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I need to calm my uterus...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
