do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
