it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
