He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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