Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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