I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
tell me about the fingering
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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