I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
