It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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