and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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