It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize