Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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