My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
