We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
