Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
