Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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