There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
