rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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