i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
