Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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