I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
