Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
