I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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