I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
