i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
