would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize