I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
