my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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