forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize