I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
His hands were made for my vagina.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
